I Just Don't Give a Damn

I run my fingers over the scars,
My eyes scan the room.
Where ever you hid it, you hid it well.
This is not what I expected from you.
You swore you'd change,
Swore you'd understand my pain.
But what is this? Is it any different?
Not really...
And now I see...
Even my deepest hurt
Means nothing to you.
I'm lost forever.
This time it's true.
My last hope just turned to ash and blew away with the wind.
I fake a smile,
Swear to you I'm not upset.
Really I no longer know what I am
Except for less
Than what I could be.
And you did this to me.
Why do I still hope?
Why do I still trust?
A part of me just wants to give up,
But the other half just wants to go out and get crushed
Again.
I just want to give in.
Please someone break my will.
Yet each passing day,
It gets stronger still.
I've forgotten which part of me I really am.
But as of this moment, I don't give a damn.